I hear myself say this a lot to clients during labor and birth. Especially during pushing.
“The only way out is through.”
Through the sensation, through the pressure, the fear and yes, through the pain. There is almost always a point where the mother has a moment of uncertainty. That moment where they feel they just can’t go on. The fear that what comes next will be worse than what is happening now.
As a doula, it’s really such an interesting dynamic to be totally comfortable with the uncertainty of labor and birth.
It fills me with a sense of adventure, hope and wonder, to see how this birth will unfold for this family.
Yet there are challenges in dealing with the uncertainties that life brings me in my personal life at times.
As a doula, I leave my home and just go with the flow at births. I allow myself to be fully present and in the moment. It is such a beautiful thing. I walk out of my life and I don’t look back. I trust that my world will keep spinning while I’m gone and be there when I return.
I am fully present with my clients, fully supporting their wishes, helping them to navigate their journey.
I accept that whatever comes, we will handle it together.
In my personal life, though, not knowing how things will turn out in certain situations will totally throw my world off center. Logically, I know that for me the answer is to gather the information I need and become educated. Develop a plan. Work the plan and trust the process.
I know the only way out the other side of this hardship, this difficult moment, is through it. At the same time I know I have done all I can do. Yet those fears, self-doubt, insecurities and vulnerabilities can rear their ugly heads. I know I’m not alone. In their own vulnerability, others have told me they feel the same.
In reality, it’s easy to forget to ask for help or to ask for what I need. I see the same issue with other mothers as well.
There is a struggle in allowing myself to be vulnerable.
In fact, vulnerability is scary. It’s being open and raw and laying yourself bare. Under the facade of having it all together, it’s not always pretty.
Not to mention it’s incredibly challenging to step out of that caregiver/caretaker role and allow myself to be taken care of. To express my needs to another with the expectation that they will help. Trusting that they will not find them insignificant
Much like labor and birth, In life, I have to walk the path that is before me.
Life, like birth, can seem insurmountable at times. It will cause you to question your ability and fear that the outcome won’t be what you want. But is in that moment when you just have to surrender and push through. It might not always be easy, but remember . . .
“The only way out is through.”
So take my hand, let’s take a deep breath together, release the fear as we exhale and let’s do this, together.
One Response
Mona White-Ortega
What a wonderful post. You have this uncanny way to speak from your heart so elequently. You capture the reader and in doing so, speak from their heart, too.